Wednesday, June 20, 2012

JUST FUCKING RUN!

OK I pretty much suck lately.  Attitude, sucks.  Eating, Sucks. Workouts, SUCK!  Everything that I once loved about myself....Yeah...pretty much sucks lately.  But it is all relative really.  My attitude went down hill because of a little Cheating bitch that seems to think her actions do not effect others since her husband doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

You KNOW I just wanna be like dude...open your freakin eyes.  But there are kiddos involved and that makes things so much worse. 

I know...I should just forget about knowing the information...I should just move past it and get over the bullshit.  I CAN'T!  I want to more than anything! Seriously, it eats at my stomach. 

So I have been all spittin' vinegar for the past month or so....and when I do that I have a hard time staying away from carbs and all other foods created by Satan himself. 

So I have been eating like a complete moron.  I reign it in but then it gets out of control again and again and again....

Well when I eat crap food...I get no results from my workouts...and my workouts are harder because I feel like the food that I ate....CRAP!  AND THENNNNNNNNNN My attitude goes even further into the fucking SHITTER!

I have been trying new programs, new food choices, reading articles about happy things trying to develop a new attitude.  HEAD DESK!

I need something that is going to work...something that will exhaust me to no end and at the same time bring the HAPPY BACK!  Think think think.....

WHY AM I NOT FUCKING RUNNING????????? The feeling of propelling myself into motion.  Being under my own control. No one talking...no one making excuses...no one judging.  Just fucking run away from it all for even just a little while. And hopefully...just run right back to where I used to be! 

My happy place is on the pavement...it always has been. The one place where I can feel free~


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