Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I take it back...

I guess I have now received the memo?  In the form of a Save the Date.  I have been invited to one of the functions that all the other suburbia mom's engulf themselves in on a regular basis.  To make matters even more intimidating...it is a double!  The save the date is for an Uppercase living demo and something called Thirty-One(which I thought was just a number until I googled it.). 

Let the anxiety ensue!  (I'll take a vodka diet on the rocks, hold the diet and the rocks!)

First off....I don't exactly decorate my home.  I mean, there is stuff in my home but I wouldn't consider it Uppercase Living kind of decor! I also have no need for even more Bags in my house.  I get the cheap ones/free ones at races I participate in or buy the cub ones when I really need to. 

Second...why is it that these women only get together to help each other spend money?  Something I am lacking significantly lately. It is always things that I honestly see no need to have in my home.  Quotes on my walls? Really?  No thank you.

This leads me to wonder...where they got the story lines for Desperate house wives. Those women had Poker night....drinks on the porch and serious gossip sessions in the street!  All this time I have been being lied to by my favorite network television shows.  They show neighborhoods of people gathering, children playing and parents having their vodka on the rocks in the streets. These are the things I long for. BBQ's with the neighbors while the kids all play ball together. Everyone discussing the latest milestone each child has encountered.  Helping each other with home projects while sharing a bottle of wine or case of beer.

I get instead, house parties where a consultant comes to sell me things that I can ensure them many times I do not need, yet end up leaving $150 broker and a promise that my items will arrive in 4 to 6 weeks. 

Maybe I can teach these women a thing or two about how this really should be done. 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Suburbia is sucking the life out of me.

I am a suburbia mom.

How the Fuck did this happen. I mean I have never been the ultra hip, night club going, designer dress wearing type. But suburban mom kind of snuck up on me.
I kind of pictured my life in the city...cool loft condo, coffee houses, and without kids.

I guess this is where I should tell you I do love my boys. I promise.

There are just a whole lot of times during the week where....I am not quite sure how I got here.

School carnivals, parent teacher meetings, swim lessons, play dates, playing tooth fairy and santa clause....the list goes on and on. And to make matters worse, I swear I have nothing in common with these other women.

They seem so happy in their lives of PTA meetings and soccer games. It just all terrifies the shit out of me.

They have formed these groups....people that get together for birthdays at Chuck e cheese and antigravity zone. They go on "Girl's Weekends" at cabins together and all have been friends for years. And somehow...even though I am a young mom....I missed the memo. Or maybe they just decided not to send it to me. Either way....I am not in the loop.

Sometimes I feel that if I would be included in these ultra seclusive groups maybe all this suburbia life would be so much easier to deal with...maybe being included would make all the blandness of suburbia feel more alive.