So how do you go about telling your loved ones that you hate life, want to crawl in a hole and just be alone for the rest of eternity and you really cannot give them a reason why or a how to fucking fix it. I get no enjoyment from things that I know I should. I go through each day hoping the day ends soon...wishing entire weeks away but smiling so no one asks what is wrong. I can't fucking explain what is wrong and I don't want to have to.
Oh that's right you tell them you have depression and it is an asshole and there is nothing they can do about it so leave me the Fuck alone.
Now that can't be right....maybe I should thank them for their concern but honestly here is nothing anyone can really do to fix it?
Ugh....this shit is making me miss people I had in my life forever ago....people I had amazing bonds with that understood me....the people I could be bitchy with or goofy with when the mood would strike. The girls I used to blare the music in the car with and we would scream or sing along. We would make up words and laugh. Ever since I lost those people I have been struggling to find people that helped me feel way but have fail miserably.
So If you were wondering where I have been....why I haven't written much since July....I have been in my own personal shithole head.