I guess I have now received the memo? In the form of a Save the Date. I have been invited to one of the functions that all the other suburbia mom's engulf themselves in on a regular basis. To make matters even more intimidating...it is a double! The save the date is for an Uppercase living demo and something called Thirty-One(which I thought was just a number until I googled it.).
Let the anxiety ensue! (I'll take a vodka diet on the rocks, hold the diet and the rocks!)
First off....I don't exactly decorate my home. I mean, there is stuff in my home but I wouldn't consider it Uppercase Living kind of decor! I also have no need for even more Bags in my house. I get the cheap ones/free ones at races I participate in or buy the cub ones when I really need to.
Second...why is it that these women only get together to help each other spend money? Something I am lacking significantly lately. It is always things that I honestly see no need to have in my home. Quotes on my walls? Really? No thank you.
This leads me to wonder...where they got the story lines for Desperate house wives. Those women had Poker night....drinks on the porch and serious gossip sessions in the street! All this time I have been being lied to by my favorite network television shows. They show neighborhoods of people gathering, children playing and parents having their vodka on the rocks in the streets. These are the things I long for. BBQ's with the neighbors while the kids all play ball together. Everyone discussing the latest milestone each child has encountered. Helping each other with home projects while sharing a bottle of wine or case of beer.
I get instead, house parties where a consultant comes to sell me things that I can ensure them many times I do not need, yet end up leaving $150 broker and a promise that my items will arrive in 4 to 6 weeks.
Maybe I can teach these women a thing or two about how this really should be done.