Thursday, May 3, 2012

And Breath!

I try very hard to find humor in just about every situation.  Even the very not so funny, make you wanna cry, bang your head against a brick wall, force yourself to run till exhaustion, stab yourself in the eye with a dull pencil kind of situations.

Oh come on...we all have those! DON'T LIE TO ME!

I have been having a few of those days lately.  I am sort of waking up to those days.  DAMN PILL WITHDRAWAL GO AWAY ALREADY! FUCKER!

And Breath!

Ok...I KNOW everyone is just trying to help me get through all this shit. I DO know it! SERIOUSLY! FUCKING LISTEN I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!  Problem is ... even THAT is annoying me. Like nails on a chalk board and I want to smash their hand! and then I breath and feel a little better.

But then BOOM! Freakin Holli shows us that she eats her own shit?!?!?!? WTF DOG! REALLY!  How can that possibly taste good??? And then you expect me to let you lick my face and hands. I don't think so bitch step off!  Ok I still love you but really??? Why couldn't you do that in secret so I could live in complete denial that you are a poop eater! UGH!

And Breath!

And then...YES THERE IS A FREAKIN AND THEN! I go to get dressed in this great spring Minnesota humid as hell but still chilly weather.  And EVERYTHING feels too tight and is way too clingy!  Now I know I have gained weight and I am seriously working on that..(this is a whole other and then!) but why can't I seem to get my house cool enough and dry enough to be able to walk around with my clothes on and not SWEAT! I find myself swearing at my clothes, pulling at them and just plain old wanting to, yes, punch someone in the fucking FACE!  Do we have any volunteers???

And Breath! guessed it...and THENNNNNNN  I step on the scale in the morning to see I have lost NOTHING.  After almost a whole week of eating right, working out, trying to push and motivate and be the healthy person I once was.....NOTHING!  But of course, my great husband that has those fabulous male genes that allow them to drop 10 lbs while they sleep is already losing PANT SIZES! Don't get me wrong, I am so proud of him and excited for our new adventure together but for FUCKS sake! Why can't I at least have a pound!!!!!!!!!!!

And Breath!

I do have to say, I am very grateful to the freaks that still love me and stand by my side every day.  I am quite positive that I am making them miserable.  Not that I am trying to.  Really I am not!  PROMISE!  If I could make all these crazy feelings go away, that would be first on my to do list! So thank you to all my FREAKY FRIENDS AND FAMILY! You all pretty much rock and are pretty much amazing in every way. 

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